Re: From the Pupman archives (Humor) (fwd)

["Tesla list" <tesla@xxxxxxxxxx>]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 22 Jun 2007 10:38:53 +0100
From: James Howells <james@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: Tesla list <tesla@xxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: Re: From the Pupman archives (Humor) (fwd)

How can you eat that stuff .......... is the Jelly, Gelatine flavoured with 
fruit juice ( like in trifles) or clear like in pork pies ?
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----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tesla list" <tesla@xxxxxxxxxx>
To: <tesla@xxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2007 12:24 AM
Subject: From the Pupman archives (Humor) (fwd)


> Ha ha!  As the last line says "peanut butter and jelly is done." :-)
>
> Chip
>
> ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2007 09:58:03 -0400
> From: Daniel Kline <daniel_kline@xxxxxxxxxxx>
> To: Tesla list <tesla@xxxxxxxxxx>
> Subject: From the Pupman archives (Humor)
>
> For those of you who missed this the first time around...:-)
> --
>
> Message 1
> From: newbiecoiler-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I know this is off-topic, but I am thinking about making myself a peanut
> butter and jelly sandwich for lunch.
> Please advise.
>
> Message 2
> From: vpitempkin-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> Peanut butter should be slowly stirred for 17 hours and 32 minutes, then
> evaporated to a specifc gravity of 92.7 exactly. After lightly sanding
> the surface of the bread with drywall sanding net, apply the peanut
> butter in three very thin layers to the upper surface of the bottom
> slice of bread and smooth with a 3 inch rubber spatula. Various
> applications of jelly and jam will yield different results.
>
> Contact me off list if you'd like me to send you the complete schematic
> for a hand designed peanut-butter stirrer, or a steam powered toaster
> designed to provide precise breadal alignment in the last few minutes of
> toasting. It's patently obvious that other methods of preparation
> produce an inferior sandwich.
>
> Message 3
> From: regular-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> Peanut butter and Jelly is the only sandwich worth making. I have been
> living on PBJ for ten years now, with great success.
>
> Message 4
> From: PPA-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I can't imagine why anyone would voluntarily make a peanut butter and
> jelly sandwich. It's tiresome, irresponsible, and the end result is less
> attractive than the sardines with onions that real coilers prefer. Wake
> up and smell the sardines.
>
> Message 5
> From: whybother-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I buy the peanut butter and jelly already mixed together in the jar at
> Kroger. I don't know what it's made of, but it's good. You can also
> order them ready made from the deli, in a little styro box with a bag of
> chips, for $5 each.
>
> Message 6
> From: coilingpurist-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> It doesn't matter what you put on the bread, as long as it has a
> workable bread body. You need to mix your own bread by hand, mixing the
> dry ingredients first (wear a flour mask). I have been making my own
> bread with my own recipes all my life, and today's sandwich makers have
> no idea what making a sandwich is all about.
>
> Message 7
> From: bythebox-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I got a bad loaf of Taystee bread, it was the honey oatmeal kind and it
> had big chunks of hard stuff all the way through. When I put it in the
> toaster, parts of it didn't toast at all and other parts caught fire. I
> called the 800 number and they said to send them some of the toast, but
> what do I do with the rest of this loaf of bread?
>
> Message 8
> From: vivelaspark-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> Attached please find the MSDS data for peanut butter. Life threatening
> peanut allergies would require the use of an airtight kevlar suit,
> asbestos gloves and enclosed oxygen-tank breathing system. By no means
> should these substances be ingested, or breathed airborn particles.
> (Attachment)
>
> Message 9
> From: eurocoiler-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> Can someone please explain to me what PBJ stands for? What is a Kroger?
> Please remember that the pupman list is an international list and not
> everyone lives in the continental US or speaks "American"...
>
> Message 10
> From: taysteebread-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I am writing to respond to a recent attack on my company. I want to
> remind sandwich makers that flour is a naturally grown product and might
> contain varying amounts of weevils, microscopic molds and other
> variations that are beyond our control. We recommend that buyers test a
> slice of bread before committing to an entire meal.
>
> The loaf in question was tested at the bakery and passed with flying
> colors. The fault was in the toasting methods of the individual buyer.
>
> Message 11
> From: McRantimator-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I'd like to see some of these so called peanut butter sandwiches of
> yours. I was making peanut butter sandwiches before you ever thought
> about making lunch, and they are way out of your league. Why don't you
> ask your rich daddy to hire you a cook to make your lunch? Be sure to
> wipe the peanut butter off your mouth before you go back to kissing up
> to the man. I'm going to go wash down my peanut butter with a red stripe
> or two.
>
> Message 12
> From: predictable-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I think this topic of peanut butter sandwiches has gone on long enough.
> Shouldn't the moderator do his job and stop posting this annoying drivel?
>
> Message 13
> From: coilgoddess-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> Here are the jelly and jam tests for Pete's strawberry, Orange
> marmalade, Raspberry jam with and without seeds, Apricot Shino, and
> Grape purple on both white bread and whole wheat..
> (Attachment)
>
> Message 14
> From: moderator-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> make the sandwich.
>
> make 100 of them, and you will begin to understand how a sandwich works.
>
> then make 100 more.
>
> it's lunch.
>
> Everyone has to eat.
>
> Message 15
> From: primalblather-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> When I was a kid, my grandmother taught me to make jam from berries we
> picked in the woods behind the hunting cabin up north... now I pick
> berries with my little homeschooled children to mix in breastmilk yogurt
> and we make organic fruit juice sweetened jam and blah blah blah blah
> blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
> blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
> blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
>
> Yours, Kelly in the flatlands,
> where we'll have pbj today as soon as we drop off 7 loaves of fresh
> whole wheat bread at the soup kitchens and blah blah blah blah blah....
>
> Message 16
> From: coilguru-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> Coilgoddess, according to my calculations your blackberry recipe is a
> little too high in the proportion of sugar to pectin. It seems it would
> run off the sides of the sandwich, and might be unstable with an acidic
> bread such as sourdough buns. I'm sending a revised recipe that might
> give better results.
> (Attachment)
>
> Message 17
> From: fedup-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> This subject has been covered on the pupman list exhaustively in the
> past. If you'd check the archives under "lunch options" you wouldn't
> have to waste everybody's time.
>
> Message 18
> From: Txjunkyard-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I have made servicable butter knives for spreading purposes out of road
> signs, cut out with a metal saw and filed to the appropriate shapes. I
> don't use a knife myself, having built a peanut butter extruder out of
> the shock absorbers of a 57 chevy truck. I have found that making toast
> is nicest if you use a wood fired toaster.
>
> Message 19
> From: TxRed-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> Peanut butter and jelly is a fine sandwich. Go ahead and try it, and let
> us know how it turns out.
>
> Message 20
> From: mustlightenup-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I really don't think this is an appropriate conversation for a public
> forum. All this discussion of buns and kissing up seems completely
> unnecessary. What if a kindergarten class were to read the pupman list
> and find all this debauchery?
>
> Really, moderator, this has gone far enough.
>
> Message 20
> From: redherring-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> The issue of sandwiches and lunchmaking is not as simple as it may
> sound. For some people, peanut butter is a deadly toxin; others with
> diabetes can not enjoy the jellies and jams you all seem to take for
> granted.
>
> It is high time we in this country recognize the plot on the part of the
> food industry to poison our planet and its inhabitants with dangerous
> and sub-standard nutritive substances, all in the name of marketing and
> the almighty dollar.
>
> When will the world wake up and recognize that sustainably harvested
> wheatgrass juice and non genetically modified soy products are the key
> to human survival in an increasingly hostile world?
>
> Message 21
> From: lostandfound-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> I would like to join the pupman Tesla list please. I have a white
> computer with a grey keyboard, sitting on my kitchen counter in Podnik,
> Iowa. Please connect me to your discussion group.
>
> Message 22
> From: moderator-at-pupman-dot-com
>
> peanut butter and jelly is done.
>
> time to move on.
>
> the moderator.
>
>
>
>
>